Community members protested the construction of downtown Phoenix’s ninth Pentagram K on Sunday over concerns that its placement above yet another ancient burial ground would attract a large number of spirits to an area not designed for ghostly traffic.
Pentagram K has been buying up and developing on vacant burial sites for years, but city planners only recently noticed that the company’s strategic placement seems designed to harness the power of the afterlife to bring ghostly customers to its doors and sell otherworldly products.
Danielle Fantum, president of the Spooky Voices Coalition, said it was obvious that Pentagram K is in the final stages of executing a massive summoning ritual.
“Not only would the ritual give Pentagram K an unlimited source of new customers,” Fantum said. “It could open the floodgates to all sorts of unsavory characters. I mean, Genghis Khan could just float in and grab a soda.”
While some said the summoning could benefit every business and the area’s budding ghost-based economy, Fantum said she believes Pentagram K should not represent the gateway to downtown for posthumous visitors.
“Nevermind the potential troublemakers that could be visiting us,” she said. “I’ve seen nothing in Pentagram K’s design plans that indicates they understand the principles of a transparent, floatable downtown.”
Fantum is organizing a community meeting that would bring together ghostly and earth-bound stakeholders in an attempt to open a dialogue with the company about its development plans.
Chris Musspast, city of Phoenix director of community and economic development, said the city is working on developing a “complete skies” initiative, which would include requirements for businesses developing on vacant burial sites and opening portals for the undead to improve floatability.
“Luckily, we won’t have to remove parking spaces, put in giant flower pots or widen sidewalks this time,” Musspast said. “In fact, we don’t even have to have doors in some of these establishments.”
Pentagram K did not return requests for comment. The only response was a mysterious voicemail message left on the reporter’s phone at midnight during a full moon. The message contained a looped track of a cackling chorus.
“The city of the future is open to visitors of all life-stages and improves post-life retention rates,” Musspast said. “We see too many residents who leave downtown Phoenix after death for more floatable cities. This soul-drain is one of the biggest problems we face today.”