Phoenix Diablo is a satirical online publication owned by the Downtown Devil. All of its content is meant purely for humorous purposes and should not be taken seriously.

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Axolotl problems
As Mexico City grew and became more industrialized, the need for water brought pumps and pipes to the lake, and eventually, “it was like a bad, smelly pond with rotten water,” Zambrano said. “All of our aquatic animals suffer with bad water quality, but amphibians suffer more because they have to breathe with the skin.”
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To add to the axolotls’ problems, invasive fish species such as carp and tilapia were introduced to the lake, where they feed on axolotl eggs. And a 1985 earthquake in Mexico City displaced thousands of people, who found new homes in the area around the lake, further contributing to the destruction of the axolotls’ habitat.
These combined threats have devastated axolotl populations. According to the International Union for Conservation of Nature, there are fewer than 100 adult axolotls left in the wild. The species is considered critically endangered.
While the wild axolotls of Lake Xochimilco have dwindled to near-extinction, countless axolotls have been bred for scientific laboratories and the pet trade. “The axolotl essentially helped establish the field of experimental zoology,” Voss said.
In 1864, a French army officer brought live axolotls back to Europe, where scientists were surprised to learn that the seemingly juvenile aquatic salamanders were capable of reproduction. Since then, scientists around the world have studied axolotls and their DNA to learn about the salamanders’ unusual metamorphosis (or lack thereof) as well as their ability to regrow injured body parts.
In addition to their role in labs, axolotls have become popular in the exotic pet trade (though they are illegal to own in California, Maine, New Jersey and Washington, DC). However, the axolotls you might find at a pet shop are different from their wild relatives in Lake Xochimilco. Most wild axolotls are a dark grayish brown. The famous pink axolotls, as well as other color variants such as white, blue, yellow and black, are genetic anomalies that are rare in the wild but selectively bred for in the pet trade.
What’s more, “most of the animals in the pet trade have a very small genetic variance,” Zambrano said. Pet axolotls tend to be inbred and lack the wide flow of different genes that makes up a healthy population in the wild. That means that the axolotl extinction crisis can’t simply be solved by dumping pet axolotls into Lake Xochimilco. (Plus, the pet axolotls likely wouldn’t fare well with the poor habitat conditions in the lake.)
Fame and misfortune
The difficulties that axolotls face in the wild are almost diametrically opposed to the fame they’ve found in recent years. Axolotls have captured the human imagination for centuries, as evidenced by their roles in Aztec religion and stories, but the early 21st century seems to be a high point for them. An axolotl graces the 50 peso bill. There are axolotl-inspired Pokemon, and Reddit commenters have noted that the character Toothless from the “How to Train Your Dragon” movie series is distinctly axolotl-like.
The introduction of axolotls to Minecraft in 2021 neatly mapped onto an uptick in Google searches for the animals, and social media makes it easy for people to gain access to photos and videos of the salamanders, particularly the photogenic pink ones often kept as pets.
The axolotl pet trade probably doesn’t directly harm the wild populations since wild salamanders aren’t being poached or taken from Lake Xochimilco. However, Zambrano said, axolotls’ ubiquity in pop culture and pet stores might make people assume that because axolotls “live in all the tanks around the world, they are not in danger.”
Why axolotls seem to be everywhere — except in the one lake they call home
раз анальный секс
Scientist Dr. Randal Voss gets the occasional reminder that he’s working with a kind of superstar. When he does outreach events with his laboratory, he encounters people who are keen to meet his research subjects: aquatic salamanders called axolotls.
The amphibians’ fans tell Voss that they know the animals from the internet, or from caricatures or stuffed animals, exclaiming, “‘They’re so adorable, we love them,’” said Voss, a professor of neuroscience at the University of Kentucky College of Medicine. “People are drawn to them.”
Take one look at an axolotl, and it’s easy to see why it’s so popular. With their wide eyes, upturned mouths and pastel pink coloring, axolotls look cheerful and vaguely Muppet-like.
They’ve skyrocketed in pop culture fame, in part thanks to the addition of axolotls to the video game Minecraft in 2021. These unusual salamanders are now found everywhere from Girl Scout patches to hot water bottles. But there’s more to axolotls than meets the eye: Their story is one of scientific discovery, exploitation of the natural world, and the work to rebuild humans’ connection with nature.
A scientific mystery
Axolotl is a word from Nahuatl, the Indigenous Mexican language spoken by the Aztecs and an estimated 1.5 million people today. The animals are named for the Aztec god Xolotl, who was said to transform into a salamander. The original Nahuatl pronunciation is “AH-show-LOAT”; in English, “ACK-suh-LAHT-uhl” is commonly used.
Axolotls are members of a class of animals called amphibians, which also includes frogs. Amphibians lay their jelly-like eggs in water, and the eggs hatch into water-dwelling larval states. (In frogs, these larvae are called tadpoles.)
Most amphibians, once they reach adulthood, are able to move to land. Since they breathe, in part, by absorbing oxygen through their moist skin, they tend to stay near water.
Axolotls, however, never complete the metamorphosis to a land-dwelling adult form and spend their whole lives in the water.
“They maintain their juvenile look throughout the course of their life,” Voss said. “They’re teenagers, at least in appearance, until they die.”
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Critics say this power imbalance is clear in the 2016 contract Guyana signed with Exxon. Under the agreement, Exxon keeps 75% of everything it makes from its oil operations in Guyana, with the remaining 25% shared equally between the company and the government, which also takes a 2% royalty.
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“It was a bad deal,” Ali said in the BBC interview, but he has rejected the idea of unilaterally changing the agreement, which was signed by the previous government. He says the next contract with Exxon will be on different terms.
An Exxon spokesperson said the contract is “globally competitive for countries at a similar stage of exploration” and said Guyana is averaging $1 billion a year in “oil profits.”
Exxon has also faced a number of lawsuits over its potential environmental impact, many filed by Melinda Janki, a Guyanese international lawyer, who drafted the country’s Environmental Protection Act back in the 1990s.
A big victory for Guyana’s people and environment came in 2023, when the court ruled Exxon should have unlimited liability for the costs of any oil spill. Exxon has since appealed the ruling and has posted a $2 billion guarantee while it awaits the appeal outcome.
Exxon said this commitment supplements “its robust balance sheets … and the insurance policies they already had in place.” Janki says this isn’t enough. Offshore oil spills can be extremely expensive to deal with, the 2010 Deepwater Horizon spill cost nearly $70 billion to clean up.
The push and pull between those who say oil offers Guyana a brighter future and those who fear the industry’s impact will continue.
Exxon said it’s had a positive impact on the country, including employing more than 6,200 people, investing more than $2 billion with local Guyanese businesses since 2015 and spending more than $43 million on community projects.
Look of the Week: Naomi Watts is twinning with her canine co-star
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What’s white and black and red all over? Naomi Watts and her 145lb co-star, Bing, a Great Dane, taking a dog walk on the crimson carpet for the New York premiere of “The Friend.”
Directed by Scott Mcgehee and adapted from Sigrid Nunez’s 2018 novel of the same name, the film — set to release in US theaters on March 28 and in the UK on April 25 — follows a solitary writer and teacher named Iris whose life is upended after a close friend bequeaths his giant pet dog to her following his death.
In front of the cameras Monday evening, the “Mulholland Drive” actor and Bing looked like they were cut from the same cloth — both in temperament and in their matching black polka dots. Watts was dressed in a white gown with fur-tufted spots that bore a striking resemblance to Bing’s own coat, but the Cruella de Vil comparisons ended there. Instead, Watts and Bing were captured in the throes of lots of paw-shakes, puppy kisses and head scratches.
The dress that Watts wore, titled the “Domino” and designed by Jacquemus, debuted during the Spring-Summer 2025 Paris couture shows in January. The look was both elegant and offbeat, with a high-cowl neck and open-back, asymmetrical waistline that mimicked a French tuck. It was styled with a skirt that sprouted furry black polka dots, which close up were unnervingly reminiscent of body hair. But from afar they gave the impression of soft-edged dabs of watercolor bleeding downstream.
The look was styled by Jeanann Williams, who has also been working with “The White Lotus” star Leslie Bibb. Williams’ decision to coordinate Watts with Bing was a new take on method dressing — the thematic styling trend that has dominated celebrity red carpets since Greta Gerwig’s “Barbie” in 2023. Since then, the sartorial trope, which connects actors to their on-screen characters through clothes, has become somewhat tired — with some observers claiming that the 7-month-long “Wicked” press tour, in which Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande became prisoners to the colors green and pink, was peak saturation.
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Tyler O’Neill hits record-extending sixth straight Opening Day home run
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For six seasons in a row, Tyler O’Neill has homered on MLB Opening Day.
Making his debut for the Baltimore Orioles on Thursday, O’Neill started the season with his record-extending sixth straight home run on Opening Day during his team’s 12-2 win against the Toronto Blue Jays.
No other player has homered on more than four consecutive Opening Days, with the 29-year-old outfielder’s three-run shot sending the Orioles into a 5-0 lead at the top of the third at Rogers Centre.
Todd Hundley (1994-97), Gary Carter (1977-80) and Yogi Berra (1955-58) all hit four consecutive home runs on Opening Day, while the Major League Baseball record for the total number of Opening Day home runs is held jointly by Adam Dunn, Ken Griffey Jr. and Frank Robinson on eight.
“I’m just not trying to make too much of it,” O’Neill told reporters about his streak. “I’m just trying to go out, have a good first at-bat and see what the game gives me from there.
“Obviously, I understand what’s going on, but it’s not like I’m going out there trying to do anything crazy.”
O’Neill, who signed a three-year, $49.5 million contract to join Baltimore from the Boston Red Sox in the offseason, finished three-for-three with three RBIs and two walks against the Blue Jays.
“It’s a little different when the lights turn on and you’ve got to show up, so it was really cool to see all the guys show up today,” he said. “We got after it out there.”
While the first two games of the MLB regular season took place between the Chicago Cubs and Los Angeles Dodgers in Tokyo last week, Thursday marked the first official day of the season in the United States.
Aged 15, New Zealander Sam Ruthe has already run a four-minute mile. He would ‘love to try and qualify’ for the 2028 Olympics
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Sam Ruthe had the eyes of thousands on him when he stepped onto a running track in Auckland just over a week ago.
Undaunted by the occasion, Ruthe went on to become the first 15-year-old to run a sub-four-minute mile, even managing a nonchalant shrug of the shoulders as he crossed the finish line.
The race was almost entirely engineered for the high school student to break the fabled four-minute barrier – a feat first achieved by Roger Bannister more than 70 years ago – but the weight of running history was a burden that Ruthe seemed to bear lightly.
The first three laps, he later said in a video documenting the race, “felt pretty comfortable – nothing too crazy.”
Perhaps the most intimidating part of his achievement occurred when Ruthe returned to school the next day, only to be immediately called into the principal’s office.
“He’s like, ‘Alright, so you’re gonna have to go up on stage and we’ll get the whole school to clap you,’” Ruthe tells CNN Sports’ Patrick Snell. “It was really scary, actually. I headed into class and everyone thought I was famous.”
It’s easy to forget, given his history-making performance last week, that Ruthe is like most other 15-year-olds in New Zealand. He goes to school, spends time with his friends, and helps with chores around the house.
He also just happens to be one of the most exciting middle-distance runners on the planet, one of the latest star athletes to emerge from sports-mad New Zealand.
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“Every morning I come downstairs and he’s already done the dishwasher, he’s already packed his lunch, and he’s ready to go,” Ruthe’s father, Ben, tells CNN Sports.
“He’s just a disciplined kid. He goes to bed early, he looks after himself, he eats well, he looks after his sister. He’s just a good kid around the house in all ways, really. We’re very lucky.”
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Ruthe is next due to compete in the 1,500 meters at the Maurie Plant Meet in Melbourne on Saturday, and one target time to aim for will be his dad’s fastest time of 3:41.22 – three hundredths of a second faster than Ruthe’s current personal best.
But he still has a way to go before he can call himself the most decorated runner in his family. Dad Ben and mom Jess are both former national champions who represented New Zealand on the world stage, while his maternal grandparents won European championship medals for Great Britain.
His grandmother, Rosemary Stirling, arguably had the most impressive achievement: an 800m Commonwealth Games title from 1970.
Despite his family pedigree, Ruthe was never under any pressure to take running seriously. His parents, in fact, didn’t allow him or his sister Daisy to train at all until they were 13, never wanting their identities to be tied solely to running.
“It feels like it’s the right decision about now,” says Ben.
But as he gradually starts to realize his potential, Ruthe, when pushed, admits to having big goals in the sport.
“If I had to pick one thing, definitely Olympic gold,” he says. “I feel like that’s most runners’ dream and the biggest thing you can actually win. So that’ll definitely be the top of my bucket list.”
The 2032 Olympics in Brisbane, Ruthe adds, would be a nice target. And as for the Los Angeles Games in three years’ time? “I’d actually love to try and qualify for LA 28,” he says. “I feel like that’ll be a tough goal. But if I do that, I’ll be really happy.”
Already, Ruthe’s name is being mentioned in the same breath as Norway’s Jakob Ingebrigtsen, the most successful middle-distance of this generation. It was his record as the youngest-ever four-minute miler that Ruthe took last week, and the New Zealander also beat Ingebrigtsen’s 1,500m record for a 15-year-old earlier this year.
Ingebrigtsen’s success, Ruthe says, has given him hope that he too can “have a good future” in the sport. But his biggest source of motivation comes not from the two-time Olympic champion, but from those closest to him – his training group led by coach Craig Kirkwood and athlete Sam Tanner.
The pair were instrumental in Ruthe’s recent mile time of 3:58.35, and it was five-time national champion Tanner who paced him perfectly around four laps of the track on his way to the record.