Tag Archives: ghosts

Spirit of SoRo raises a racket at site of new luxury apartment

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Phoenix Ghostbusters has received several reports of paranormal activity in the area of the now-demolished buildings south of Roosevelt formerly known as “SoRo,” according to a spokesman.

Reports include alleged sounds of creaking and doors slamming coming from seemingly nowhere as well as incidents of vandalism at the new luxury apartments set to open on the property.

SoRo included businesses ranging from art galleries to print shops.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if the lots are haunted by the ghosts of the demolished businesses,” said paranormal activity expert Cordell D. Munn. “If someone demolished me to make room for some unnecessary luxury apartments, I’d have beef with them too.”

Residents have recently complained to Phoenix City Council’s Paranormal Activity Commission about the sounds of the alleged ghosts wailing.

“I can hardly sleep with all the noise at night,” said resident Peter Perspiration. “This is worse than when the FAA changed flight paths.”

Although the disturbances caused by the ghosts have prompted complaints from some residents, not everyone is opposed to the ghosts’ fixtures being heard.

Downtown Phoenix activist Gregory Oyle is leading the effort to allow the ghosts to make whatever noise they want, citing the First Amendment’s guarantee of freedom of speech.

“I’ve lived in downtown Phoenix for more than 50 years,” Oyle said in a Facebook comment on a Phoenix Diablo photo. “When I arrived, the population was less than 100,000. And I believe every single person or building, living or dead, in Phoenix deserves to have their voice heard.”

Oyle did not return calls for further comment.

Carisse Parsons, a Phoenix First Amendment attorney, said the constitutional right to freedom of speech does not necessarily apply to beings that are no longer alive.

“There isn’t much legal precedent to this, but I can say that constitutional rights are usually reserved for living human beings,” Parsons said. “The Constitution starts with ‘We the People,’ not ‘We the Ghosts.’ Also, buildings have literally never been given First Amendment protection.”

Oyle is pushing for the ghosts of SoRo to be appointed to the board of Downtown Phoenix Voices and the paranormal activity commission, arguing that dead or alive, they have the right to be considered downtown Phoenix residents.

Opponents say Oyle is being ridiculous and that ghosts of dead people do not even get appointed to commissions, so ghosts of demolished buildings shouldn’t either.

“If we let the ghost of every downtown demolished building or closed business join the commission, it would just be made up of ghosts,” Perspiration said.

Ghosts of Hotel San Carlos set out on strike for phantom rights

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If you were hoping for a haunted Halloween at the historic Hotel San Carlos in downtown Phoenix, your plans may have come a little early. The hotel’s ghosts went on strike Thursday night, citing frustrations with tourists walking through their incorporeal bodies and the smells of food they cannot eat emanating from ground-level restaurant Rice Paper.

Leone Jensen, the leader of the strike and a key ghost figure at the hotel, said pay is “not a concern” due to the ghosts’ lack of physical manifestation and need for material objects.

“Honestly, if they could just try a little harder to pitch us as creepy once in a while, I’d probably be happy,” Jensen said. “But it’s a thankless existence. How many nights have I stood looking forlorn at the foot of someone’s bed and had them not even wake up?”

The group’s demands included reinstatement of the ghost tours and occasional mentions as guests are checked in and out at reception. Casper the Friendly Ghost also made a brief appearance as a celebrity endorsement of the strike.

The phantoms have gathered outside the hotel at the intersection of Monroe Street and Central Avenue to protest their mistreatment by hotel staff and guests. However, due to the absence of physical form, they cannot build or hold signs, requiring them to send their message with ethereal shouts and howls.

“We understand some people see it as a crude way of protesting,” Jensen said. “You try living eternally without a body, then you can come back and talk to me.”

Downtown Phoenix resident Ben Schee said he could hear the ghosts’ wails from CityScape two blocks away, though he wasn’t sure what the noise was.

“Oh, that’s ghosts?” Schee said. “I just thought I was hearing one of those experimental bands at Valley Bar playing really loud.”

Robert Melikian, manager of the day-to-day operations of the hotel, said he wasn’t concerned about the angry mob of spirits outside the San Carlos doors.

“It’s close to Halloween, you know,” he said. “We shut down the ghost tours a while ago, but this kind of publicity coming at this time is more of a blessing than a curse.”

The ghosts often surface with complaints, he said, and usually calm down once they’ve been given a chance to terrify a guest. While nothing has previously happened on the scale of a strike, Melikian is confident that given time and a few good scares of passersby, the spirits will be satiated.

“The thing you have to understand about ghosts is that they basically only have one thing they can do, and that’s moan and scare people,” he said. “Give them time, they’ll come around.”

Jensen disagreed.

“The most frustrating thing is that they don’t treat us like whole, complete humans,” she said. “I mean, technically—physically—we’re not, sure. But we still have complex needs and wants and personalities.”

Witnesses to Thursday night’s protests had mixed responses. Handel Windsorshutlet, who is staying in the hotel, said he was confused about the purpose of the strike.

“Is this some kind of performance art?” Windsorshutlet asked. “I’m sorry, is this — are these computer generations?”

Windsorshutlet tried waving a hand through Jensen’s side. When she turned to stare at him with dead, hollow eyes, he grinned and continued into the hotel lobby.

While Jensen found reactions troubling at first, she said that once people came to understand the nature of the protest, the strike would ultimately be successful.

“The hotel will need to meet our terms. I am sure business will be driven away by our presence out here,” she said. “And if not, we can always just moan louder so the guests can’t sleep.”

“It’s not like we have anything else to do, anyway,” she added bitterly.

Ghost fashionistas get the shock of their (after)lives in downtown Phoenix

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Greta H.S. Timothy was in for a big surprise when she hit up downtown Phoenix for some shopping on a recent trip to the area’s finest vintage shops. She was so shocked, in fact, she cried out.

No one heard it, of course. Timothy is the latest in a new wave of apparitions to hit the downtown Phoenix scene. Populating (and haunting) restaurants, apartment complexes and shops, ghosts like Timothy have been getting quite the scare themselves, thanks to the duds found in some vintage stores.

“Hey, those are my clothes!” Timothy exclaimed.

She pointed out a sequined shift dress found at Antique Sugar Vintage.

“I wore that on a trip to New York in the 1920s,” Timothy said. “Boy, was that wild! Something straight out of ‘The Great Gatsby,’ I’m telling you.”

Timothy expressed discontent at the item’s selling price.

“The tag said $30,” she said. “$30? For that dazzling piece of sparkly, fringed fabric? I rubbed elbows with the rich and famous in that dress! It’s worth at least $100.”

Also on display was Timothy’s engagement ring, a vintage, two-carat diamond going for $20.

“The ring was better than the guy, you know what I’m saying?” Timothy said. “Still, I was a bit shocked to see my treasured clothing and accessories on display. At first I was annoyed, but now I only hope the future wearers of these pieces can do them justice.”

With vintage shops gaining attention and prevalence in the downtown area, ghosts are beginning to wonder if these new, “hip” fashionistas are just following a trend or are actually going to stick to the ghost fashion style.

“With all these young folk picking all my old styles, I need to stay ahead of the trend. Recently I’ve been trending toward a minimalistic approach that features simply a blank white sheet,” said Ella Weems, a resident of Pioneer and Military Memorial Park.

Samuel Inking, who was a passenger on the Titanic, recently found a pair of his sea-salt-washed denim jeans at Black N Blue. When asked about the new pricing of his jeans at $100, Inking was spooked.

“I remember when I bought those things for a nickel. This inflation would give me a heart attack,” Inking said. “I mean, if I had a heart.”