Megacorp announced Tuesday its plans to purchase downtown Phoenix’s last remaining art gallery and construct a luxury apartment complex.
Stalk Opshun, a Megacorp spokesman, said the company had been eyeing the land for development since the apocalypse that decimated the Phoenix area. Megacorp is finalizing its plans to buy the land that currently houses Art Box, the only gallery to survive the end of days, for 13 million ration cards, 12 rifles and several crates of ammunition.
“This parcel’s close proximity to what used to be the light rail makes it the perfect place for our new luxury development,” Opshun said. “The downtown core has been on the rise since the roving bands of mutants and barbarians were driven away, and Megacorp wants to be part of that revitalization.”
Opshun said the apartments will include luxury amenities such as running water, occasional electricity and a bed roll. Tenants will also have access to a private sinkhole and the option to barricade their doors if rioting starts.
Iyam Legend, a local resident, self-identified scavenger and aspiring actor, said he would consider living in the apartments only if they allowed pets. Fluffy, his zombie dog, is his top concern, Legend said.
“Fluffy’s a sweet girl, really,” he said. “It’s just sometimes she needs to feed on human flesh, and I’d need to check with management before I sign the lease.”
The project will be financed in part through a Government Property Lease Excess Rations agreement, which provides free food, water and electricity to giant corporations in exchange for building empty, ostentatious skyscrapers on historic or culturally relevant sites.
The GPLER agreement for Megacorp’s new apartment complex is slated to last until the next apocalypse, which has drawn concerns from residents living inside the downtown Phoenix quarantine zone.
Some community members have said the government is getting the supplies it needs to finance GPLER projects by reducing rations and conscripting residents to hunt for food in the barren wasteland.
Marshall Laws, public-information officer with the interim government, said there is no cause for concern and reminded residents they should report any signs of unrest or dissent to the interim government’s Office of Information and Correction.
“GPLER agreements are the best way to offer incentives to encourage growth and development downtown,” Laws said. “GPLER agreements attract companies that truly understand the needs of downtown and believe in what Phoenix can become. Through GPLER and the efforts of our glorious leaders, the new Republic of Phoenix can rise from this hellish wasteland and become the only shining city on the hill that isn’t on fire.”
Laws’ concerns about unrest are not without basis. Recently, a secret organization called the Downtown Whispers Coalition has been leaving pamphlets and spray-painting their insignia throughout the quarantine zone.
An anonymous and very intimidating source with knowledge of the situation said if residents would like to sit down with a group of like-minded individuals to politely discuss ways to improve and change the interim government, they may or may not find a secret meeting of the DWC somewhere in the abandoned Roosevelt District.