The Metro light rail lost power throughout its entire system on Oct. 24 and residents claim local witchcraft is the culprit after Metro employees discovered witch’s brew coated on the lines.
Before the light rail lost power, some people in a light-rail car noticed suspicious activity from three women in the back. According to eyewitnesses, the women kept arguing and murmuring “incantations that could not possibly be English.” To make matters worse, there was a black cat named Binx; the suspicious women cooed his name, and the cat reportedly made a number of people uncomfortable.
“The cat looked like your average black cat, but its unsettling bright eyes looked almost human as they stared at me,” frequent light-rail rider Glen Dale said. “I don’t know what kind of sick Halloween joke these women were pulling, but Phoenix police need to find them soon.”
After the light rail came to a halt, riders noticed that the women disappeared without a trace. Even Binx silently vanished. Due to the extravagant black costumes, strange behavior and current public opinion, the city launched a witch hunt the following night.
“The suspicious activity is pretty normal for the Metro light rails,” Phoenix police Officer Dan Dee said. “However, this is a whole new level of suspicion that needs to be addressed, and the only way to clear the claims is to find these women before they cause any more chaos.”
The names of the three women are unknown, but coordinators of the downtown Phoenix witch hunt are channeling the old days of Salem and 1950s Washington by tracking broom routes and pasting wanted posters on walls around the city.
The city is expected to call in two witch-hunting professionals, Hansel and Gretel Grimm. The hunters have extensive experience with witches, tracking and fighting them many times since their youth.
One of the major tips that witches were involved with the shutdown was physical evidence on the power lines.
During repairs on the line, a worker noticed the lines were coated in a green substance.
“The stuff on the light-rail lines looked like Jell-O, and it went on and on all throughout the lines,” Valley Metro employee Reese Spieces said. “It was really difficult to remove. We even tried using a chisel, and it wasn’t working so well.”
After workers removed the substance late in the afternoon, it was sent to the Cauldron, a local laboratory, and tested. Scientists found many unexpected components, including human toes, spider legs and duck bills.
“We had to break out an unusual, banned-in-15-states chemistry set,” Dr. Vic Frankenstein said. “Tests indicated double the amount of bubble, a little bit of toil and lots of trouble.”