Downtown Dining

Downtown Dining: Red Heart Cauldron Brewing Company

1,325 Comments
(Ahmnom Nahmnom/PD)
Red Heart Cauldron Brewing Company offers up the right brews at the right price. (Ahmnam Nahmnom/PD)

When you walk in, Red Heart appears to be just another cauldron brewery. To the left you have some hand-crafted brooms for comfortable seating. The walls are adorned with bottled souls of past customers and eerie portraits of the owners. Members of the Witch High Society, also known as Alpha Beta Witch Witch, are often found sitting near the window. To the right hang two cauldrons made by local artisans. The first cauldron contains the daily special, while the second contains yesterday’s daily special.

In addition to the cauldron specials, customers have the option to order off the always expanding menu. I ordered the “Hearty Half Caff, Half Calf” ($4.99 + two toes) which was equal parts calf heart and decaffeinated barista soul stirred and heated to 1000 F. I prefer my drinks shaken, not stirred, but for Red Heart I was willing to make an exception. Overall, the smoothness of the drink complimented the warmness felt in what used to be my toes.

My good friend, Claire Voiant, enjoyed a chilled non-fat soy latte ($3.99 + three black cats). She said it was nice but could have used a bit more soy. She even let me try it. And to be honest, it wasn’t that great. Neither is she, now that I mention it. Why did I bring her?

The service was quite phenomenal. Young witches and warlocks, but mostly witches, flew around the sitting area. While your soul may be empty, your cup will always be full to the brim.

Red Heart first popped up on my radar and caught the attention of the community in early September after a photo was posted to their MageBook page with the caption reading “Spending the day flying around with friends at Red Heart!”

The photo showed two presumably soulless customers slumped on their broomsticks with the owner propped up on his broom flashing a thumbs up. Some community members saw this as a sign of disrespect and were up in arms for a couple days. But the rage quickly dissipated after the individuals realized they had more important things to worry about.

What makes Red Heart unique is the faint chill that runs down your spine every time you walk through the door. Embrace this feeling, because it only enhances the bitter taste in the back of your mouth as you swallow your hot expresso.

Red Heart Cauldron does not just sell coffee. They sell a livelihood. Frequent Red Heart customers should consider buying a Witch Pass ($0.00 + first born son and/or daughter) to zoom to the front of the line. Members will also be invited to the city of Phoenix’s annual Witch Hunt, a celebration of witch culture and heritage hosted by Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Guaranteed fun for the whole family.

After your quick coffee break, consider stopping at Circle K for lunch. There could soon be one on every corner.

1,325 thoughts on “Downtown Dining: Red Heart Cauldron Brewing Company”

  5. My brother suggested I would possibly like this web site. He used to be totally right. This publish truly made my day. You cann’t imagine just how so much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!

  15. Free mini skirt gangbang moviesBlowjobs sample videosRiding her femdomDaniel give me a blow jobVanesa hudgens boobsYoung black nudist familyCambridge womens pornography cooperativeTeen modeling siteDisability fl help kissimmee teenFree panty peeing
    xnxx Mature nookie picsHuge real blonde boobsAlbum vintageInterracial sluts pissed deepTeen strip adult videoJennifer lothrop nude
    reviewPudding hentaiLook good naked reviewsAsian wet tee shirt https://videos.deutschexxxx.com/ Fucks
    blonde barnShimano 600 bottom bracketPainful rough sex videos freeInterracial humiliated
    white boyYoung nudist c omFordyce spots on head of
    penisFree pinoy nurse porn xnxx Breast reduction after implantsFree hentai a time
    to screwHorny babe gets fuckedFondle my penisSexy picture/moviesDyed muff pussyAudrina patridge in bikiniTight teen angelsAnal and cock sucking togetherSexy teryl
    rotheryVintage formula super veeHot babes fucked outdoorsNaturi naughton sex

  21. I was wondering if you ever thought of changing the page layout of your blog?
    Its very well written; I love what youve got to say.
    But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people
    could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only
    having 1 or 2 pictures. Maybe you could space it
    out better?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *