Fictional character Cosmo Kramer narrowly defeated actor Will Smith in a surprisingly entertaining and supposedly important Undergraduate Student Government Downtown presidential election.
Kramer won the election with 1337 votes to Smith’s 1336 in an election that came down to the wire and saw candidates promising everything from alien invasion insurance to new episodes of Seinfeld.
With the win, Kramer became the first fictional character elected to a position traditionally filled by real people.
“To rule the people, one must walk among them,” Kramer said in an acceptance speech that emphasized his fictional roots. Kramer had been considered out of the running for USGD president after Seinfeld ended in 1998, but rallied over the past three weeks to take the win.
Kramer’s campaign promised hourly jokes delivered via MyASU and new episodes of Seinfeld to be streamed every week in place of student government meetings.
Neither candidate knew that he was nominated for the position until notified by student government election staff after spring break, but sprang into action despite the unexpected nature of the campaign.
Former USGD President Frank Smith III said that he felt the elections committee made a mistake, but that an oddly worded elections code prevented him from challenging the ruling.
Walter Cronkite School student Videog Proj said that she voted for Kramer because she liked Seinfeld and wanted to see more.
“I just wanted more Seinfeld,” she said. “My friend, Threeo Onekid, said he didn’t vote because he didn’t want to take a stance on 1990s comedies that could reflect on his work in the future.”
Will Smith said that by electing a fictional character, ASU’s Downtown Phoenix campus had doomed itself to destruction by aliens that would harvest resources and organs from the city.
“Humanity is going to be destroyed,” Smith said. “Only the president can authorize a suicide mission to hack into the alien command ship, and this president seems more concerned with jokes than survival.”
Kramer denied that the aliens were planning to destroy the planet and said they would only be involved with human organ harvesting and approving student organization funds.
“I’ve spoken with our new senators, and they are more than willing to work with alien faculty and staff on both the Budget Allocations and newly formed Mothership Operations committees,” Kramer said.
Smith ran on a platform that included lowering tuition by flying a plane into the offices of the Board of Regents and hacking their computers, opportunities to test for internships at local financial institutions and free companion dogs to help students prepare for the apocalypse.
Smith campaign manager M. Night Shyamalan said that the loss was planned from the beginning. Shyamalan’s campaigns have received fewer and fewer votes every year.
Smith’s running mate and son, Jaden Smith, said that there were still questions to be asked about how a Kramer presidency will function.
“How can our votes be real if the candidate isn’t real?” he asked.
After the vote totals were announced, Russian President Vladmir Putin called Kramer to congratulate him on the win. Putin expressed hopes that under new leadership, the campus would be more open to the possibility of invasion or coup. Kramer declined to say whether he would participate with Putin in the traditional, post-election, shirtless horseback-riding ceremony.
Other candidates that accrued votes included deceased economist Adam Smith, Dutch speed skater Yep Kramer and two-term USGD President and former ASU student Joseph Grossman.
Grossman said that even though he lost, he will return next year on a platform based on his connections in the Arizona Alien Affairs lobby.
Even with this election’s astronomical stakes, the broader downtown Phoenix community really didn’t care.
“It really doesn’t matter,” downtown advocate Peter Perspiration said. “It doesn’t matter who was elected. Nothing will change unless students get involved with the community.”
Very great post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wanted to say that I’ve really loved browsing your blog posts. After all I will be subscribing for your feed and I hope you write again very soon!
Does your site have a contact page? I’m having a tough time locating it but, I’d like to shoot you an email. I’ve got some suggestions for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great website and I look forward to seeing it improve over time.
baking soda hydrogen peroxide trick
honey and baking soda trick
Baking Soda for men
so much great info on here, :D.
Great work! This is the type of information that should be shared around the web. Shame on the search engines for not positioning this post higher! Come on over and visit my website . Thanks =)
I’ve been absent for some time, but now I remember why I used to love this site. Thanks, I’ll try and check back more frequently. How frequently you update your web site?
I discovered your blog site on google and check a few of your early posts. Continue to keep up the very good operate. I just additional up your RSS feed to my MSN News Reader. Seeking forward to reading more from you later on!…
I truly appreciate this post. I have been looking all over for this! Thank goodness I found it on Bing. You’ve made my day! Thank you again!
I dugg some of you post as I cogitated they were extremely helpful very beneficial
With havin so much content do you ever run into any problems of plagorism or copyright infringement? My site has a lot of completely unique content I’ve either authored myself or outsourced but it looks like a lot of it is popping it up all over the web without my permission. Do you know any ways to help prevent content from being stolen? I’d certainly appreciate it.
信息量很足，读完很有收获，期待作者继续更新这类内容。. Very helpful article, thanks again.
After study a few of the blog posts on your website now, and I truly like your way of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark website list and will be checking back soon. Pls check out my web site as well and let me know what you think.
소액결제현금화(휴대폰깡·모바일깡)의 뜻과 수법, 정보통신망법 위반 처벌 수위, 실제 처벌 사례와 이용자 피해, 급전 필요 시 합법 대안까지 정리했습니다.
누누티비의 서비스 종료 이력과 같은 이름의 사이트를 확인할 때 알아둘 내용을 정리했습니다. 드라마·영화 다시보기 제공 여부, 회차·자막·화질 확인 방법과 자주 묻는 질문을 살펴보세요.
부산오피를 검색하며 부산 지역 일반 마사지·스파를 알아보는 분들을 위한 안내입니다. 프로그램 선택, 관리 시간과 비용, 시설·위생, 주차, 예약 전 확인사항과 자주 묻는 질문을 정리했습니다.
I appreciate, cause I found exactly what I was looking for. You have ended my 4 day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a great day. Bye
광주호빠를 찾는 분을 위한 광주광역시 예약 안내. 라운지 분위기, 인원별 공간 선택, 가격 상담, 첫 방문 준비와 자주 묻는 질문을 확인하고 원하는 일정에 맞춰 문의
Such a helpful article! I appreciate the effort behind it. Nice write-up, keep it up.
This blog is definitely rather handy since I’m at the moment creating an internet floral website – although I am only starting out therefore it’s really fairly small, nothing like this site. Can link to a few of the posts here as they are quite. Thanks much. Zoey Olsen
광주호빠를 찾는 분을 위한 광주광역시 예약 안내. 라운지 분위기, 인원별 공간 선택, 가격 상담, 첫 방문 준비와 자주 묻는 질문을 확인하고 원하는 일정에 맞춰 문의
F*ckin’ tremendous issues here. I am very glad to peer your post. Thanks a lot and i’m taking a look ahead to contact you. Will you kindly drop me a e-mail?
Appreciate it for this wonderful post, I am glad I noticed this site on yahoo.
I was just looking for this info for some time. After 6 hours of continuous Googleing, finally I got it in your web site. I wonder what’s the lack of Google strategy that do not rank this kind of informative websites in top of the list. Generally the top sites are full of garbage.
Hello! I just would like to give a huge thumbs up for the great info you have here on this post. I will be coming back to your blog for more soon.
Hi, i think that i saw you visited my weblog so i came to “return the favor”.I am attempting to find things to improve my site!I suppose its ok to use some of your ideas!!
This is a topic close to my heart cheers, where are your contact details though?
Your style is so unique compared to many other people. Thank you for publishing when you have the opportunity,Guess I will just make this bookmarked.
After study a few of the blog posts on your website now, and I truly like your way of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark website list and will be checking back soon. Pls check out my web site as well and let me know what you think.
I precisely had to say thanks all over again. I do not know the things I might have taken care of in the absence of the actual opinions shared by you regarding such a field. It previously was a real frightful dilemma in my position, nevertheless taking note of this well-written mode you processed that took me to cry for delight. I will be thankful for this service and sincerely hope you really know what an amazing job your are carrying out teaching the rest thru your web blog. Most likely you have never encountered all of us.
Hello! I could have sworn I’ve been to this blog before but after browsing through some of the post I realized it’s new to me. Nonetheless, I’m definitely delighted I found it and I’ll be book-marking and checking back frequently!
I do believe all the ideas you’ve presented on your post. They’re really convincing and can certainly work. Still, the posts are very short for beginners. May you please extend them a bit from next time? Thanks for the post.
Some truly good articles on this site, appreciate it for contribution. “Careful. We don’t want to learn from this.” by Bill Watterson.
구미오피는 이 페이지에서 구미의 오피스텔 형태 공간에서 일반 관리 서비스를 제공하는 곳을 뜻합니다. 프로그램 이름만 보고 결정하기 어렵다면 관리 항목과 실제
Absolutely composed subject material, thank you for entropy. “The bravest thing you can do when you are not brave is to profess courage and act accordingly.” by Corra Harris.
Thanks for the sensible critique. Me & my neighbor were just preparing to do a little research on this. We got a grab a book from our local library but I think I learned more clear from this post. I’m very glad to see such fantastic info being shared freely out there.
What i do not realize is actually how you are not actually much more well-liked than you may be right now. You are so intelligent. You realize thus considerably relating to this subject, produced me personally consider it from a lot of varied angles. Its like women and men aren’t fascinated unless it’s one thing to accomplish with Lady gaga! Your own stuffs excellent. Always maintain it up!
경기도 평택출장마사지 셀럽의 코스와 가격, 자택·호텔 방문 상담, 선입금 없는 예약 및 현장 결제 기준을 확인하세요. 방문 가능 여부와 예상 도착 시간은 주소와
I was studying some of your blog posts on this site and I believe this internet site is rattling informative ! Keep on posting.