Protesters marched Monday on the Capitol to urge Gov. Jan Brewer to veto Senate Bill 1042, which some believe could be used to discriminate against people with beards.
“If you take away our rights, we will take away our razors,” one protester with a beard reaching his nether regions called through a megaphone.
The bill, passed by state Legislature on Friday, is only one line long, something opposers say will be used for broad interpretations.
Senator Jill Etté, who wrote the bill, said modern society has been “hijacked” by people with beards, or “those lumberjack hipsters.” In order to protect society for “the modern gentleman,” Arizona should only support clean-shaven faces.
“Business owners have the right to refuse service to people with beards if it offends their delicate sensibilities,” reads SB 1042, nicknamed Senate’s Beard by protesters.
Brewer, who returned to Arizona from Washington D.C. on Monday, has been coy with the press and avoided giving any details that would hint at how she will respond to the bill.
The opposition argued that the law could lead to hairy situations. They said men with beards were not being treated as equal citizens. Some said the law would even discriminate against women.
“Some women have beards,” lead protester Chin Muffler said.
Opposition leaders also questioned what qualifies as a beard and whether length would be a factor.
Legislators amended the bill before it passed on Monday to clarify a beard to mean any facial hair longer than a five o’clock shadow.
“If we’re talking about a six o’clock shadow, that’s over the line,” Sen. Nair said.
Protester Jaw Bristle was infuriated by the amendment. He said his beard naturally grows quickly and sometimes he has to shave twice a day.
“I can’t help the way my beard grows,” Bristle said. “I was born this way. What do you expect me to do? Carry a razor in my bag and shave during my lunch break?”
Sen. Etté said opposers were attempting to turn the bill into a straw man with “outlandish claims as dirty as their beards.”
Additional controversy broke Monday night when protesters accused Americans Defending Faces, the bill’s main backer, of receiving funding from razor companies. Although Executive Director Nota Fuzz denied the claims, photos emerged on social media of her handing out razors during an ADF meeting. The American Facial Liberties Union of Arizona has spoken out against the bill.
Local business owner Jennifer Klenly said she supported the bill and hoped other facial hair would also be included.
“I don’t think I can serve someone with a mustache if I believe in goatees,” Klenly said.
Klenly, who owns a coffee shop, said a man with a mustache once entered her store. He bought a cup of coffee, drank it and then left the cup at the table.
“It was a truly frightening experience,” Klenly said. “I was shaking the rest of the day.”
Klenly refused to comment further after she was asked if her shaking was related to high intake of caffeine.
Other downtown residents, however, were upset with the bill. Some took to wearing shirts that said, “I mustache you a question, do you believe in beard rights?” Others grew their beards or wore fake costume beards to stand in solidarity with the opposition.
“Wait, I’m confused, what’s the bill against again?” downtown resident Nicole Green said. “When has there ever been a problem with bearded men?”
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Let’s all hope the rational minds in Tehran and Washington are working on a solution.
Kharg Island is the key\nNo oil money, no bombs\nSimple math.
“We’ll take it ourselves.” – Trump\nAnd he actually did it.
Our Supreme Leader warned you. The Strait is closed. Now your soldiers are sitting in a death trap.
Trump referenced “regime change” in Venezuela as a model. He sees Kharg as the prize that funds the new government.
The real winner here is China. They get cheaper oil from Russia and a distracted US.
Every soldier on that island is a hostage if Iran can cut off supply lines.
This is leverage. Real leverage. Not the fake kind Biden used.
Seizing territory is easy. Holding it when the Iranians are firing at you every day is the hard part.
This is going to cause a massive spike in oil prices that Europe cannot afford.
Kharg Island now a symbol of confusion
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