Fictional character Cosmo Kramer narrowly defeated actor Will Smith in a surprisingly entertaining and supposedly important Undergraduate Student Government Downtown presidential election.
Kramer won the election with 1337 votes to Smith’s 1336 in an election that came down to the wire and saw candidates promising everything from alien invasion insurance to new episodes of Seinfeld.
With the win, Kramer became the first fictional character elected to a position traditionally filled by real people.
“To rule the people, one must walk among them,” Kramer said in an acceptance speech that emphasized his fictional roots. Kramer had been considered out of the running for USGD president after Seinfeld ended in 1998, but rallied over the past three weeks to take the win.
Kramer’s campaign promised hourly jokes delivered via MyASU and new episodes of Seinfeld to be streamed every week in place of student government meetings.
Neither candidate knew that he was nominated for the position until notified by student government election staff after spring break, but sprang into action despite the unexpected nature of the campaign.
Former USGD President Frank Smith III said that he felt the elections committee made a mistake, but that an oddly worded elections code prevented him from challenging the ruling.
Walter Cronkite School student Videog Proj said that she voted for Kramer because she liked Seinfeld and wanted to see more.
“I just wanted more Seinfeld,” she said. “My friend, Threeo Onekid, said he didn’t vote because he didn’t want to take a stance on 1990s comedies that could reflect on his work in the future.”
Will Smith said that by electing a fictional character, ASU’s Downtown Phoenix campus had doomed itself to destruction by aliens that would harvest resources and organs from the city.
“Humanity is going to be destroyed,” Smith said. “Only the president can authorize a suicide mission to hack into the alien command ship, and this president seems more concerned with jokes than survival.”
Kramer denied that the aliens were planning to destroy the planet and said they would only be involved with human organ harvesting and approving student organization funds.
“I’ve spoken with our new senators, and they are more than willing to work with alien faculty and staff on both the Budget Allocations and newly formed Mothership Operations committees,” Kramer said.
Smith ran on a platform that included lowering tuition by flying a plane into the offices of the Board of Regents and hacking their computers, opportunities to test for internships at local financial institutions and free companion dogs to help students prepare for the apocalypse.
Smith campaign manager M. Night Shyamalan said that the loss was planned from the beginning. Shyamalan’s campaigns have received fewer and fewer votes every year.
Smith’s running mate and son, Jaden Smith, said that there were still questions to be asked about how a Kramer presidency will function.
“How can our votes be real if the candidate isn’t real?” he asked.
After the vote totals were announced, Russian President Vladmir Putin called Kramer to congratulate him on the win. Putin expressed hopes that under new leadership, the campus would be more open to the possibility of invasion or coup. Kramer declined to say whether he would participate with Putin in the traditional, post-election, shirtless horseback-riding ceremony.
Other candidates that accrued votes included deceased economist Adam Smith, Dutch speed skater Yep Kramer and two-term USGD President and former ASU student Joseph Grossman.
Grossman said that even though he lost, he will return next year on a platform based on his connections in the Arizona Alien Affairs lobby.
Even with this election’s astronomical stakes, the broader downtown Phoenix community really didn’t care.
“It really doesn’t matter,” downtown advocate Peter Perspiration said. “It doesn’t matter who was elected. Nothing will change unless students get involved with the community.”
Dear immortals, I need some wow gold inspiration to create.
Rattling fantastic information can be found on web blog. “Many complain of their memory, few of their judgment.” by Benjamin Franklin.
Almost all of what you articulate happens to be astonishingly accurate and it makes me wonder why I had not looked at this in this light previously. Your article really did switch the light on for me as far as this subject goes. But at this time there is actually 1 position I am not necessarily too comfortable with so while I try to reconcile that with the actual central theme of your point, allow me observe exactly what all the rest of the visitors have to say.Very well done.
magnificent points altogether, you simply gained a brand new reader. What would you recommend in regards to your post that you made a few days ago? Any positive?
Good info. Lucky me I reach on your website by accident, I bookmarked it.
I believe this site contains very great indited content articles.
Hey, you used to write fantastic, but the last several posts have been kinda boringK I miss your great writings. Past several posts are just a bit out of track! come on!
You have remarked very interesting details! ps decent internet site. “If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one” by Abraham Lincoln.
I’ll immediately grab your rss feed as I can not find your email subscription link or newsletter service. Do you’ve any? Kindly let me know in order that I could subscribe. Thanks.
I really enjoy reading through on this web site, it holds good articles.
Este site é realmente fabuloso. Sempre que acesso eu encontro coisas diferentes Você também vai querer acessar o nosso site e descobrir mais detalhes! Conteúdo exclusivo. Venha saber mais agora! :)
Este site é realmente demais. Sempre que consigo acessar eu encontro coisas incríveis Você também vai querer acessar o nosso site e descobrir mais detalhes! conteúdo único. Venha saber mais agora! :)
Este site é realmente demais. Sempre que acesso eu encontro coisas diferentes Você também vai querer acessar o nosso site e saber mais detalhes! informaçõesexclusivas. Venha saber mais agora! :)
Hi there, just became aware of your blog through Google, and found that it’s really informative. I am going to watch out for brussels. I will appreciate if you continue this in future. Many people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!
I really appreciate your work, Great post.
Howdy this is kind of of off topic but I was wanting to know if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding skills so I wanted to get guidance from someone with experience. Any help would be greatly appreciated!
I used to be more than happy to find this web-site.I wished to thanks for your time for this wonderful read!! I positively enjoying every little bit of it and I’ve you bookmarked to check out new stuff you blog post.
Thanks for the post, can you make it so I receive an email when there is a new post?
Hello! I could have sworn I’ve been to this blog before but after browsing through some of the post I realized it’s new to me. Anyways, I’m definitely happy I found it and I’ll be book-marking and checking back frequently!
LottoChamp is a lottery prediction software that uses statistical analysis and mathematical algorithms to help users choose more strategic numbers when playing the lottery.
Its such as you learn my thoughts! You seem to understand a lot about this, like you wrote the e book in it or something. I feel that you just could do with a few to pressure the message home a little bit, but instead of that, that is great blog. A great read. I will certainly be back.
Good day! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could find a captcha plugin for my comment form? I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having trouble finding one? Thanks a lot!
Heya i am for the primary time here. I came across this board and I in finding It really helpful & it helped me out much. I’m hoping to offer one thing again and aid others such as you aided me.
You are a very bright person!
Its wonderful as your other posts : D, appreciate it for putting up. “In the spider-web of facts, many a truth is strangled.” by Paul Eldridge.
Thanks for a marvelous posting! I definitely enjoyed reading it, you are a great author.I will ensure that I bookmark your blog and will eventually come back sometime soon. I want to encourage you continue your great posts, have a nice afternoon!
Mitolyn is a cutting-edge dietary supplement designed to restore energy at the cellular level. Unlike typical energy boosters that rely on caffeine or sugar, Mitolyn supports your body’s natural ATP production, the real fuel your cells use for energy.
F*ckin’ amazing things here. I’m very satisfied to see your post. Thanks so much and i am taking a look forward to contact you. Will you please drop me a e-mail?
Mitolyn is a cutting-edge dietary supplement designed to restore energy at the cellular level. Unlike typical energy boosters that rely on caffeine or sugar, Mitolyn supports your body’s natural ATP production, the real fuel your cells use for energy.
Hi, just required you to know I he added your site to my Google bookmarks due to your layout. But seriously, I believe your internet site has 1 in the freshest theme I??ve came across. It extremely helps make reading your blog significantly easier.
Greetings! Very helpful advice on this article! It is the little changes that make the biggest changes. Thanks a lot for sharing!
Loving the info on this website , you have done outstanding job on the blog posts.
The Pink Salt Trick is a minimalist but effective morning routine: Just drink a glass of lukewarm water mixed with a pinch of Himalayan pink salt as soon as you wake up.
The Pink Salt Trick is a minimalist but effective morning routine: Just drink a glass of lukewarm water mixed with a pinch of Himalayan pink salt as soon as you wake up.
I’ve been surfing online greater than 3 hours today, yet I never discovered any interesting article like yours. It’s lovely worth sufficient for me. In my view, if all web owners and bloggers made just right content material as you did, the internet shall be a lot more useful than ever before. “Oh, that way madness lies let me shun that.” by William Shakespeare.
Some really nice and utilitarian info on this web site, too I believe the layout contains good features.
The Pink Salt Trick is a minimalist but effective morning routine: Just drink a glass of lukewarm water mixed with a pinch of Himalayan pink salt as soon as you wake up.
Its excellent as your other content : D, thankyou for putting up. “Music is the soul of language.” by Max Heindel.
magnificent points altogether, you just gained a brand new reader. What would you suggest in regards to your post that you made a few days ago? Any positive?
You made a few nice points there. I did a search on the subject matter and found nearly all people will consent with your blog.
Everything is very open and very clear explanation of issues. was truly information. Your website is very useful. Thanks for sharing.
Hiya, I am really glad I’ve found this info. Today bloggers publish only about gossips and internet and this is actually annoying. A good website with exciting content, that is what I need. Thank you for keeping this website, I’ll be visiting it. Do you do newsletters? Can’t find it.
Its like you learn my thoughts! You appear to understand a lot about this, such as you wrote the e-book in it or something. I think that you can do with some percent to pressure the message home a bit, however instead of that, that is excellent blog. An excellent read. I’ll definitely be back.
Great – I should definitely pronounce, impressed with your site. I had no trouble navigating through all tabs and related information ended up being truly easy to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it in the least. Reasonably unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or something, web site theme . a tones way for your customer to communicate. Excellent task..
This is very interesting, You are a very skilled blogger. I’ve joined your feed and look forward to seeking more of your excellent post. Also, I’ve shared your web site in my social networks!
Very good written story. It will be useful to anybody who employess it, as well as me. Keep up the good work – can’r wait to read more posts.
You can definitely see your skills in the paintings you write. The world hopes for even more passionate writers such as you who aren’t afraid to mention how they believe. Always follow your heart.
hello!,I like your writing so much! proportion we be in contact extra approximately your post on AOL? I require a specialist on this house to unravel my problem. May be that is you! Looking ahead to look you.
I’m truly enjoying the design and layout of your website. It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more pleasant for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a designer to create your theme? Superb work!
Thanks for the sensible critique. Me & my neighbor were just preparing to do some research on this. We got a grab a book from our local library but I think I learned more clear from this post. I am very glad to see such fantastic info being shared freely out there.