Fictional character Cosmo Kramer narrowly defeated actor Will Smith in a surprisingly entertaining and supposedly important Undergraduate Student Government Downtown presidential election.
Kramer won the election with 1337 votes to Smith’s 1336 in an election that came down to the wire and saw candidates promising everything from alien invasion insurance to new episodes of Seinfeld.
With the win, Kramer became the first fictional character elected to a position traditionally filled by real people.
“To rule the people, one must walk among them,” Kramer said in an acceptance speech that emphasized his fictional roots. Kramer had been considered out of the running for USGD president after Seinfeld ended in 1998, but rallied over the past three weeks to take the win.
Kramer’s campaign promised hourly jokes delivered via MyASU and new episodes of Seinfeld to be streamed every week in place of student government meetings.
Neither candidate knew that he was nominated for the position until notified by student government election staff after spring break, but sprang into action despite the unexpected nature of the campaign.
Former USGD President Frank Smith III said that he felt the elections committee made a mistake, but that an oddly worded elections code prevented him from challenging the ruling.
Walter Cronkite School student Videog Proj said that she voted for Kramer because she liked Seinfeld and wanted to see more.
“I just wanted more Seinfeld,” she said. “My friend, Threeo Onekid, said he didn’t vote because he didn’t want to take a stance on 1990s comedies that could reflect on his work in the future.”
Will Smith said that by electing a fictional character, ASU’s Downtown Phoenix campus had doomed itself to destruction by aliens that would harvest resources and organs from the city.
“Humanity is going to be destroyed,” Smith said. “Only the president can authorize a suicide mission to hack into the alien command ship, and this president seems more concerned with jokes than survival.”
Kramer denied that the aliens were planning to destroy the planet and said they would only be involved with human organ harvesting and approving student organization funds.
“I’ve spoken with our new senators, and they are more than willing to work with alien faculty and staff on both the Budget Allocations and newly formed Mothership Operations committees,” Kramer said.
Smith ran on a platform that included lowering tuition by flying a plane into the offices of the Board of Regents and hacking their computers, opportunities to test for internships at local financial institutions and free companion dogs to help students prepare for the apocalypse.
Smith campaign manager M. Night Shyamalan said that the loss was planned from the beginning. Shyamalan’s campaigns have received fewer and fewer votes every year.
Smith’s running mate and son, Jaden Smith, said that there were still questions to be asked about how a Kramer presidency will function.
“How can our votes be real if the candidate isn’t real?” he asked.
After the vote totals were announced, Russian President Vladmir Putin called Kramer to congratulate him on the win. Putin expressed hopes that under new leadership, the campus would be more open to the possibility of invasion or coup. Kramer declined to say whether he would participate with Putin in the traditional, post-election, shirtless horseback-riding ceremony.
Other candidates that accrued votes included deceased economist Adam Smith, Dutch speed skater Yep Kramer and two-term USGD President and former ASU student Joseph Grossman.
Grossman said that even though he lost, he will return next year on a platform based on his connections in the Arizona Alien Affairs lobby.
Even with this election’s astronomical stakes, the broader downtown Phoenix community really didn’t care.
“It really doesn’t matter,” downtown advocate Peter Perspiration said. “It doesn’t matter who was elected. Nothing will change unless students get involved with the community.”
You made a few fine points there. I did a search on the theme and found most folks will have the same opinion with your blog.
Jillian Michaels’ Gelatin Trick
GELATIN TRICK RECIPE
GELATIN TRICK RECIPE
you are really a good webmaster. The website loading speed is amazing. It seems that you’re doing any unique trick. In addition, The contents are masterwork. you’ve done a magnificent job on this topic!
I am really enjoying the theme/design of your web site. Do you ever run into any browser compatibility problems? A number of my blog audience have complained about my website not operating correctly in Explorer but looks great in Firefox. Do you have any advice to help fix this problem?
I actually wanted to develop a comment so as to appreciate you for these pleasant facts you are showing at this site. My particularly long internet search has at the end been recognized with reliable knowledge to share with my co-workers. I would claim that we site visitors actually are unquestionably lucky to be in a really good website with very many awesome people with beneficial suggestions. I feel rather blessed to have discovered your weblog and look forward to plenty of more thrilling moments reading here. Thank you once more for a lot of things.
Thank you for another wonderful post. Where else could anyone get that type of information in such a perfect way of writing? I’ve a presentation next week, and I am on the look for such info.
Hmm is anyone else experiencing problems with the pictures on this blog loading? I’m trying to figure out if its a problem on my end or if it’s the blog. Any feed-back would be greatly appreciated.
I love your writing style genuinely loving this site.
great post.Ne’er knew this, appreciate it for letting me know.
Hi there, i read your blog from time to time and i own a similar one and i was just curious if you get a lot of spam remarks? If so how do you reduce it, any plugin or anything you can advise? I get so much lately it’s driving me mad so any assistance is very much appreciated.
I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own blog and was wondering what all is required to get setup? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very internet savvy so I’m not 100 certain. Any recommendations or advice would be greatly appreciated. Many thanks
There is noticeably a bundle to learn about this. I assume you made sure nice factors in options also.
Hello my friend! I wish to say that this article is amazing, nice written and include almost all significant infos. I would like to see more posts like this.
Your place is valueble for me. Thanks!…
I like what you guys are up too. Such intelligent work and reporting! Carry on the superb works guys I’ve incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it’ll improve the value of my site :).
Hello There. I discovered your blog the use of msn. This is a very neatly written article. I’ll be sure to bookmark it and return to read more of your helpful info. Thanks for the post. I’ll certainly comeback.
Just wanna input on few general things, The website style and design is perfect, the content is rattling fantastic. “We can only learn to love by loving.” by Iris Murdoch.
Thanks for ones marvelous posting! I definitely enjoyed reading it, you’re a great author.I will be sure to bookmark your blog and will come back later on. I want to encourage one to continue your great writing, have a nice evening!
Thank you for sharing superb informations. Your web-site is very cool. I am impressed by the details that you’ve on this blog. It reveals how nicely you understand this subject. Bookmarked this web page, will come back for extra articles. You, my friend, ROCK! I found simply the information I already searched all over the place and just could not come across. What a great web site.
I would like to thank you for the efforts you’ve put in writing this website. I’m hoping the same high-grade website post from you in the upcoming as well. In fact your creative writing skills has inspired me to get my own site now. Really the blogging is spreading its wings rapidly. Your write up is a good example of it.
I am often to blogging and i really appreciate your content. The article has really peaks my interest. I am going to bookmark your site and keep checking for new information.
I’d have to verify with you here. Which is not something I normally do! I take pleasure in studying a publish that can make people think. Additionally, thanks for allowing me to comment!
Hello! I just would like to give a huge thumbs up for the great info you have here on this post. I will be coming back to your blog for more soon.
A lot of of what you point out is supprisingly appropriate and it makes me wonder why I hadn’t looked at this in this light before. This particular piece really did switch the light on for me as far as this subject matter goes. Nonetheless there is actually one position I am not really too comfortable with so while I attempt to reconcile that with the actual main idea of your issue, permit me see what all the rest of the subscribers have to say.Nicely done.
Great wordpress blog here.. It’s hard to find quality writing like yours these days. I really appreciate people like you! take care
When I initially commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get three emails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove people from that service? Appreciate it!
You made some decent points there. I appeared on the internet for the difficulty and located most individuals will go along with with your website.
I am not really good with English but I come up this rattling easy to interpret.
Some truly interesting information, well written and generally user genial.
Real clear website , thanks for this post.
Hello, i believe that i noticed you visited my web site thus i got here to “go back the prefer”.I am attempting to find issues to improve my web site!I assume its adequate to use a few of your concepts!!
Some truly nice and useful info on this site, as well I believe the design and style has superb features.
I will right away snatch your rss as I can not in finding your email subscription link or newsletter service. Do you have any? Kindly allow me realize in order that I may just subscribe. Thanks.
You made some first rate points there. I regarded on the web for the difficulty and located most individuals will associate with with your website.
Heya i am for the first time here. I came across this board and I in finding It really helpful & it helped me out much. I’m hoping to offer something again and help others such as you helped me.
You have mentioned very interesting points! ps nice website .
Woah! I’m really enjoying the template/theme of this blog. It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s very hard to get that “perfect balance” between superb usability and visual appearance. I must say you’ve done a superb job with this. Additionally, the blog loads very fast for me on Firefox. Exceptional Blog!
I’ve been browsing online more than three hours as of late, yet I never discovered any interesting article like yours. It’s lovely worth enough for me. Personally, if all site owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the net will be a lot more useful than ever before.
I like the helpful information you provide in your articles. I’ll bookmark your weblog and check again here regularly. I’m quite certain I’ll learn a lot of new stuff right here! Best of luck for the next!
Thank you for sharing excellent informations. Your site is so cool. I’m impressed by the details that you have on this site. It reveals how nicely you understand this subject. Bookmarked this web page, will come back for extra articles. You, my friend, ROCK! I found simply the info I already searched all over the place and simply couldn’t come across. What a great site.
Everything is very open and very clear explanation of issues. was truly information. Your website is very useful. Thanks for sharing.
Helpful information. Lucky me I discovered your web site unintentionally, and I’m shocked why this accident did not took place earlier! I bookmarked it.
I have been checking out a few of your articles and i can claim pretty nice stuff. I will surely bookmark your blog.
Nice post. I learn something more challenging on different blogs everyday. It will always be stimulating to read content from other writers and practice a little something from their store. I’d prefer to use some with the content on my blog whether you don’t mind. Natually I’ll give you a link on your web blog. Thanks for sharing.
You should take part in a contest for one of the best blogs on the web. I will recommend this site!
Hello, Neat post. There is an issue along with your web site in web explorer, could check this?K IE nonetheless is the market leader and a good component of people will omit your magnificent writing due to this problem.
This actually answered my drawback, thank you!
Heya just wanted to give you a brief heads up and let you know a few of the pictures aren’t loading properly. I’m not sure why but I think its a linking issue. I’ve tried it in two different browsers and both show the same results.