Fictional character Cosmo Kramer narrowly defeated actor Will Smith in a surprisingly entertaining and supposedly important Undergraduate Student Government Downtown presidential election.
Kramer won the election with 1337 votes to Smith’s 1336 in an election that came down to the wire and saw candidates promising everything from alien invasion insurance to new episodes of Seinfeld.
With the win, Kramer became the first fictional character elected to a position traditionally filled by real people.
“To rule the people, one must walk among them,” Kramer said in an acceptance speech that emphasized his fictional roots. Kramer had been considered out of the running for USGD president after Seinfeld ended in 1998, but rallied over the past three weeks to take the win.
Kramer’s campaign promised hourly jokes delivered via MyASU and new episodes of Seinfeld to be streamed every week in place of student government meetings.
Neither candidate knew that he was nominated for the position until notified by student government election staff after spring break, but sprang into action despite the unexpected nature of the campaign.
Former USGD President Frank Smith III said that he felt the elections committee made a mistake, but that an oddly worded elections code prevented him from challenging the ruling.
Walter Cronkite School student Videog Proj said that she voted for Kramer because she liked Seinfeld and wanted to see more.
“I just wanted more Seinfeld,” she said. “My friend, Threeo Onekid, said he didn’t vote because he didn’t want to take a stance on 1990s comedies that could reflect on his work in the future.”
Will Smith said that by electing a fictional character, ASU’s Downtown Phoenix campus had doomed itself to destruction by aliens that would harvest resources and organs from the city.
“Humanity is going to be destroyed,” Smith said. “Only the president can authorize a suicide mission to hack into the alien command ship, and this president seems more concerned with jokes than survival.”
Kramer denied that the aliens were planning to destroy the planet and said they would only be involved with human organ harvesting and approving student organization funds.
“I’ve spoken with our new senators, and they are more than willing to work with alien faculty and staff on both the Budget Allocations and newly formed Mothership Operations committees,” Kramer said.
Smith ran on a platform that included lowering tuition by flying a plane into the offices of the Board of Regents and hacking their computers, opportunities to test for internships at local financial institutions and free companion dogs to help students prepare for the apocalypse.
Smith campaign manager M. Night Shyamalan said that the loss was planned from the beginning. Shyamalan’s campaigns have received fewer and fewer votes every year.
Smith’s running mate and son, Jaden Smith, said that there were still questions to be asked about how a Kramer presidency will function.
“How can our votes be real if the candidate isn’t real?” he asked.
After the vote totals were announced, Russian President Vladmir Putin called Kramer to congratulate him on the win. Putin expressed hopes that under new leadership, the campus would be more open to the possibility of invasion or coup. Kramer declined to say whether he would participate with Putin in the traditional, post-election, shirtless horseback-riding ceremony.
Other candidates that accrued votes included deceased economist Adam Smith, Dutch speed skater Yep Kramer and two-term USGD President and former ASU student Joseph Grossman.
Grossman said that even though he lost, he will return next year on a platform based on his connections in the Arizona Alien Affairs lobby.
Even with this election’s astronomical stakes, the broader downtown Phoenix community really didn’t care.
“It really doesn’t matter,” downtown advocate Peter Perspiration said. “It doesn’t matter who was elected. Nothing will change unless students get involved with the community.”
Hi my friend! I wish to say that this post is amazing, nice written and include approximately all vital infos. I would like to see more posts like this.
I simply could not go away your website before suggesting that I actually enjoyed the usual information an individual supply to your guests? Is going to be again frequently to check out new posts.
Howdy! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering which blog platform are you using for this website? I’m getting sick and tired of WordPress because I’ve had problems with hackers and I’m looking at options for another platform. I would be great if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.
This design is spectacular! You definitely know how to keep a reader amused. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Excellent job. I really loved what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it. Too cool!
I am glad to be a visitant of this thoroughgoing weblog! , thanks for this rare info ! .
Thanx for the effort, keep up the good work Great work, I am going to start a small Blog Engine course work using your site I hope you enjoy blogging with the popular BlogEngine.net.Thethoughts you express are really awesome. Hope you will right some more posts.
I will right away clutch your rss feed as I can’t in finding your e-mail subscription link or newsletter service. Do you have any? Please allow me recognise so that I may subscribe. Thanks.
You have mentioned very interesting details! ps decent site. “In music the passions enjoy themselves.” by Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche.
Thanks a lot for sharing this with all of us you actually know what you are talking about! Bookmarked. Please also visit my web site =). We could have a link exchange arrangement between us!
What i don’t understood is in fact how you’re not actually a lot more neatly-appreciated than you may be right now. You’re very intelligent. You recognize thus considerably in terms of this matter, made me in my view believe it from a lot of varied angles. Its like men and women are not involved except it is something to accomplish with Lady gaga! Your individual stuffs excellent. At all times handle it up!
PESTOTO merupakan situs toto online dan penyedia toto togel terpercaya, menawarkan pasaran lengkap, proses deposit dan withdraw super cepat, serta layanan pelanggan 24/7. Nikmati bonus spektakuler kami!
The Pink Salt Trick is a minimalist but effective morning routine: Just drink a glass of lukewarm water mixed with a pinch of Himalayan pink salt as soon as you wake up.
Heya i am for the first time here. I came across this board and I find It really useful & it helped me out a lot. I hope to give something back and help others like you aided me.
Terrific work! This is the type of information that are supposed to be shared across the internet. Disgrace on Google for no longer positioning this publish higher! Come on over and talk over with my web site . Thank you =)
Hi there, I found your website via Google while searching for a related topic, your web site came up, it looks great. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.
PESTOTO adalah situs togel online terpercaya untuk Toto 4D & Toto Macau dengan peluang menang besar, proses login cepat, hasil transparan, dan pembayaran tanpa ribet.
The Pink Salt Trick is a minimalist but effective morning routine: Just drink a glass of lukewarm water mixed with a pinch of Himalayan pink salt as soon as you wake up.
It?¦s in reality a great and helpful piece of info. I?¦m satisfied that you simply shared this useful info with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.
Simply desire to say your article is as astonishing. The clearness on your submit is just great and i could suppose you’re knowledgeable on this subject. Fine with your permission allow me to take hold of your RSS feed to keep updated with forthcoming post. Thanks 1,000,000 and please keep up the rewarding work.
I have been absent for some time, but now I remember why I used to love this website. Thank you, I¦ll try and check back more often. How frequently you update your site?
The Pink Salt Trick is a minimalist but effective morning routine: Just drink a glass of lukewarm water mixed with a pinch of Himalayan pink salt as soon as you wake up.
I’ve been absent for some time, but now I remember why I used to love this site. Thanks, I’ll try and check back more frequently. How frequently you update your site?
It is really a great and helpful piece of information. I’m glad that you shared this helpful info with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.
Woh I like your content, bookmarked! .
Some really good info , Gladiola I discovered this.
Great post. I am facing a couple of these problems.
Hi my loved one! I wish to say that this post is awesome, nice written and come with almost all vital infos. I’d like to look more posts like this .
Thank you, I’ve recently been searching for information about this topic for ages and yours is the greatest I’ve discovered till now. But, what about the bottom line? Are you sure about the source?
Do you have a spam problem on this website; I also am a blogger, and I was wanting to know your situation; many of us have created some nice practices and we are looking to exchange methods with others, be sure to shoot me an e-mail if interested.
You have observed very interesting details! ps nice internet site. “Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness.” by Confucius.
This is a very good tips especially to those new to blogosphere, brief and accurate information… Thanks for sharing this one. A must read article.
I believe this website has got very great indited articles content.
I got what you intend, appreciate it for putting up.Woh I am happy to find this website through google.
I’ve been exploring for a little for any high quality articles or blog posts in this sort of space . Exploring in Yahoo I at last stumbled upon this website. Reading this info So i am happy to convey that I have an incredibly excellent uncanny feeling I came upon just what I needed. I such a lot unquestionably will make sure to don’t disregard this website and give it a look regularly.
Everything is very open and very clear explanation of issues. was truly information. Your website is very useful. Thanks for sharing.
Utterly composed subject material, Really enjoyed studying.
Hey would you mind sharing which blog platform you’re using? I’m planning to start my own blog soon but I’m having a tough time deciding between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your layout seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something completely unique. P.S Apologies for getting off-topic but I had to ask!
You made some decent points there. I did a search on the subject and found most individuals will approve with your website.
Heya i am for the primary time here. I found this board and I find It truly useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something again and help others such as you aided me.
After study a few of the weblog posts on your website now, and I actually like your way of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark website listing and shall be checking back soon. Pls take a look at my site as effectively and let me know what you think.
An attention-grabbing dialogue is value comment. I feel that you must write more on this subject, it won’t be a taboo subject however usually persons are not sufficient to speak on such topics. To the next. Cheers
Real great info can be found on web blog.
You have noted very interesting details! ps decent internet site.
I enjoy the efforts you have put in this, appreciate it for all the great posts.
hi!,I like your writing very much! share we communicate more about your article on AOL? I require a specialist on this area to solve my problem. Maybe that’s you! Looking forward to see you.
I want to convey my appreciation for your kind-heartedness giving support to folks who have the need for help on this particular situation. Your real commitment to getting the message all through has been exceptionally informative and has without exception helped ladies just like me to get to their pursuits. Your own invaluable guideline entails a whole lot a person like me and substantially more to my colleagues. Warm regards; from everyone of us.
What i do not understood is in fact how you’re not actually a lot more smartly-preferred than you might be now. You’re so intelligent. You realize therefore considerably on the subject of this topic, made me individually imagine it from numerous numerous angles. Its like women and men aren’t fascinated until it is one thing to accomplish with Lady gaga! Your individual stuffs excellent. All the time maintain it up!
I’ve been browsing online greater than 3 hours nowadays, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It is lovely worth enough for me. In my opinion, if all website owners and bloggers made just right content material as you did, the internet might be a lot more useful than ever before.
Good V I should certainly pronounce, impressed with your site. I had no trouble navigating through all the tabs as well as related info ended up being truly easy to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it in the least. Reasonably unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or something, site theme . a tones way for your client to communicate. Nice task..
Hello, you used to write excellent, but the last several posts have been kinda boring… I miss your great writings. Past few posts are just a little out of track! come on!