Fictional character Cosmo Kramer narrowly defeated actor Will Smith in a surprisingly entertaining and supposedly important Undergraduate Student Government Downtown presidential election.
Kramer won the election with 1337 votes to Smith’s 1336 in an election that came down to the wire and saw candidates promising everything from alien invasion insurance to new episodes of Seinfeld.
With the win, Kramer became the first fictional character elected to a position traditionally filled by real people.
“To rule the people, one must walk among them,” Kramer said in an acceptance speech that emphasized his fictional roots. Kramer had been considered out of the running for USGD president after Seinfeld ended in 1998, but rallied over the past three weeks to take the win.
Kramer’s campaign promised hourly jokes delivered via MyASU and new episodes of Seinfeld to be streamed every week in place of student government meetings.
Neither candidate knew that he was nominated for the position until notified by student government election staff after spring break, but sprang into action despite the unexpected nature of the campaign.
Former USGD President Frank Smith III said that he felt the elections committee made a mistake, but that an oddly worded elections code prevented him from challenging the ruling.
Walter Cronkite School student Videog Proj said that she voted for Kramer because she liked Seinfeld and wanted to see more.
“I just wanted more Seinfeld,” she said. “My friend, Threeo Onekid, said he didn’t vote because he didn’t want to take a stance on 1990s comedies that could reflect on his work in the future.”
Will Smith said that by electing a fictional character, ASU’s Downtown Phoenix campus had doomed itself to destruction by aliens that would harvest resources and organs from the city.
“Humanity is going to be destroyed,” Smith said. “Only the president can authorize a suicide mission to hack into the alien command ship, and this president seems more concerned with jokes than survival.”
Kramer denied that the aliens were planning to destroy the planet and said they would only be involved with human organ harvesting and approving student organization funds.
“I’ve spoken with our new senators, and they are more than willing to work with alien faculty and staff on both the Budget Allocations and newly formed Mothership Operations committees,” Kramer said.
Smith ran on a platform that included lowering tuition by flying a plane into the offices of the Board of Regents and hacking their computers, opportunities to test for internships at local financial institutions and free companion dogs to help students prepare for the apocalypse.
Smith campaign manager M. Night Shyamalan said that the loss was planned from the beginning. Shyamalan’s campaigns have received fewer and fewer votes every year.
Smith’s running mate and son, Jaden Smith, said that there were still questions to be asked about how a Kramer presidency will function.
“How can our votes be real if the candidate isn’t real?” he asked.
After the vote totals were announced, Russian President Vladmir Putin called Kramer to congratulate him on the win. Putin expressed hopes that under new leadership, the campus would be more open to the possibility of invasion or coup. Kramer declined to say whether he would participate with Putin in the traditional, post-election, shirtless horseback-riding ceremony.
Other candidates that accrued votes included deceased economist Adam Smith, Dutch speed skater Yep Kramer and two-term USGD President and former ASU student Joseph Grossman.
Grossman said that even though he lost, he will return next year on a platform based on his connections in the Arizona Alien Affairs lobby.
Even with this election’s astronomical stakes, the broader downtown Phoenix community really didn’t care.
“It really doesn’t matter,” downtown advocate Peter Perspiration said. “It doesn’t matter who was elected. Nothing will change unless students get involved with the community.”
Thanks for some other great article. Where else may anyone get that kind of information in such an ideal way of writing? I’ve a presentation subsequent week, and I’m at the search for such information.
Hello my friend! I wish to say that this post is awesome, great written and include almost all vital infos. I’d like to look extra posts like this .
Hello There. I found your blog using msn. This is a really well written article. I’ll make sure to bookmark it and return to read more of your useful information. Thanks for the post. I will certainly return.
With every little thing which seems to be developing inside this particular subject matter, a significant percentage of perspectives are generally quite radical. On the other hand, I am sorry, but I do not subscribe to your whole plan, all be it exciting none the less. It looks to me that your remarks are not totally justified and in fact you are generally yourself not totally convinced of the argument. In any event I did enjoy reading through it.
naturally like your web-site but you need to check the spelling on several of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling issues and I find it very bothersome to tell the truth nevertheless I’ll surely come back again.
HORSE GELATIN
excellent post, very informative. I wonder why the other experts of this sector don’t notice this. You should continue your writing. I’m confident, you have a great readers’ base already!
I’m impressed, I have to say. Actually rarely do I encounter a weblog that’s both educative and entertaining, and let me inform you, you’ve hit the nail on the head. Your thought is outstanding; the issue is something that not sufficient individuals are speaking intelligently about. I’m very glad that I stumbled across this in my search for something relating to this.
Appreciate it for all your efforts that you have put in this. very interesting info .
It is really a nice and helpful piece of information. I’m satisfied that you simply shared this useful info with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thank you for sharing.
Can I simply say what a aid to search out somebody who actually knows what theyre talking about on the internet. You positively know methods to deliver a difficulty to mild and make it important. Extra folks have to read this and understand this facet of the story. I cant imagine youre no more well-liked because you definitely have the gift.
Hello, i think that i saw you visited my web site thus i came to “return the favor”.I am attempting to find things to enhance my site!I suppose its ok to use some of your ideas!!
horse gelatin recipe for men
horse gelatin trick recipe
Very clean site, regards for this post.
I’m impressed, I have to say. Really rarely do I encounter a blog that’s both educative and entertaining, and let me tell you, you’ve got hit the nail on the head. Your thought is excellent; the issue is something that not sufficient people are speaking intelligently about. I’m very pleased that I stumbled across this in my seek for one thing referring to this.
Hello! I could have sworn I’ve been to this blog before but after browsing through some of the post I realized it’s new to me. Anyways, I’m definitely happy I found it and I’ll be book-marking and checking back frequently!
Thank you for another magnificent post. Where else could anyone get that type of information in such a perfect way of writing? I’ve a presentation next week, and I’m on the look for such information.
I’ve read a few excellent stuff here. Certainly price bookmarking for revisiting. I wonder how much effort you put to make any such magnificent informative site.
I must express my appreciation to you for bailing me out of this particular trouble. Because of exploring through the the net and seeing concepts which were not productive, I thought my entire life was over. Existing minus the strategies to the difficulties you have resolved as a result of the site is a serious case, as well as the kind that would have negatively affected my entire career if I hadn’t discovered your site. That capability and kindness in playing with almost everything was helpful. I’m not sure what I would have done if I hadn’t come across such a subject like this. I am able to at this moment look forward to my future. Thanks for your time so much for your expert and amazing guide. I will not hesitate to refer your site to any person who needs to have guide on this matter.
Really wonderful info can be found on weblog. “Education is what most receive, many pass on, and few possess.” by Karl Kraus.
Very interesting info !Perfect just what I was looking for! “Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.” by Rita Rudner.
I am now not sure where you are getting your info, however great topic. I must spend some time studying much more or working out more. Thanks for great info I used to be in search of this info for my mission.
HORSE GELATIN TRICK RECIPE
HORSE GELATIN TRICK RECIPE FOR MEN
HORSE GELATIN
I loved as much as you’ll receive carried out right here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish. nonetheless, you command get got an edginess over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come further formerly again as exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this hike.
I like this web blog its a master peace ! Glad I observed this on google .
fantastic put up, very informative. I’m wondering why the other experts of this sector do not notice this. You must proceed your writing. I am sure, you’ve a huge readers’ base already!
I’d have to examine with you here. Which is not one thing I usually do! I take pleasure in reading a post that may make folks think. Additionally, thanks for permitting me to comment!
Awsome website! I am loving it!! Will be back later to read some more. I am taking your feeds also.
I have recently started a blog, the info you offer on this site has helped me tremendously. Thanks for all of your time & work.
Oh my goodness! an amazing article dude. Thanks Nevertheless I am experiencing problem with ur rss . Don’t know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anybody getting equivalent rss drawback? Anybody who is aware of kindly respond. Thnkx
I’d forever want to be update on new content on this internet site, bookmarked! .
Hi! Do you know if they make any plugins to safeguard against hackers? I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything I’ve worked hard on. Any suggestions?
Its excellent as your other articles : D, appreciate it for posting.
I like what you guys are up too. Such intelligent work and reporting! Carry on the superb works guys I’ve incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it’ll improve the value of my site :)
Horse Gelatin Trick
I just like the valuable info you provide for your articles. I will bookmark your weblog and test again right here frequently. I’m rather certain I’ll learn many new stuff proper right here! Best of luck for the next!
Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to far added agreeable from you! By the way, how can we communicate?
Keep up the excellent work, I read few blog posts on this internet site and I think that your web site is rattling interesting and holds circles of great information.
I’ve recently started a web site, the info you offer on this website has helped me tremendously. Thank you for all of your time & work.
My wife and i were absolutely contented when Albert could complete his investigation through your precious recommendations he gained from your own web site. It’s not at all simplistic just to choose to be freely giving tips people today have been trying to sell. We understand we now have the website owner to appreciate for that. The main illustrations you’ve made, the straightforward website navigation, the friendships you will help promote – it’s many unbelievable, and it is assisting our son in addition to our family imagine that the content is brilliant, which is certainly very vital. Thanks for all the pieces!
Thanks for another fantastic article. Where else could anybody get that type of info in such an ideal way of writing? I have a presentation next week, and I am on the look for such info.
Hello my friend! I want to say that this article is awesome, nice written and include approximately all vital infos. I would like to see more posts like this.
Betrupi official giriş platformu ve resmi adresi
It is the best time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy. I have read this post and if I could I want to suggest you few interesting things or tips. Maybe you can write next articles referring to this article. I wish to read more things about it!
horse gelatin trick
Horse Gelatin for men
Horse Gelatin Trick